Its an ordinary world ..after all!!

There are too many times now ..when I wish on a normal, ordinary life..a family..a life!!!

The winds are blowing too fast now..i watch as my wishes are blown away..like the fire in the middle of a dark cavern. I would give up anything to keep the fire burning..to keep those wishes from blowing away..

There are too many times now.. when I wish to hold my baby in my arms. Apparently, as per the doctors who had done our checkup, we cannot have kids..and that hurts! Sometimes I just want to give all this up and have a perfect family..Navin, me our kids

I have this fantasy of kids running around the house, Navin playing with them, me reading them story books, humming the kids to bed, cooking for them..sounds so perfect..too perfect for my life.

Sometimes I do wonder how can a mom kill their kids, how can a mom give their kids up..why do they take kids for granted. Its the only thing that I crave for now..!

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than watching the babies sleep, or hearing them give this cute squeeky laughs..holdng your finger while they struggle to walk..there is nothing more fullfilling in this world than holding your own baby in your arms for the first time..or dozing off to sleep just watching them.

& there is not one single moment in my life now, when I dont crave for my own baby!

If you cant see bright side of life..polish the dull side!

As humans we always grasp the one thing thats out of our reach..a handful of sand..stars..the moon if we ever get to hold it...but once in a while you let loose of your crasp and see that beyond the need of consuming the world lies happiness. Did you ever stop and stared at the sun coloring the sky..every time it sets or comes out..the beautiful colors will remain even though its for a split second...And all we ever look at is beyond the colors to the fact that its gonna be dark in a moment...for once i stopped at the street and swallowed the colors ..and damn it felt like freedom..

Freedom..ahhh..such a beautiful feeling!

I looked at Navin as we waited for the rain to stop at Chaandhanee MAgu covered by a thin roof. We were supposed to be already singing HAppy birthday to my 8 year old niece at Salsa Cafe..I remembered the first time we kissed..it was under one of the huts in the artificial beach and it was ..well..raining! One year later we were planning to go out to celebrate our anniversary and it started raining. As crazy as we were, it didnt stop us from going out..in the rain..soaked up..we walked near the thoshigandu, hand in hand, went to fizzes and had ice cream..and even splashed water into each other..i sighed as reality hit me. Now we were grown ups and all the craziness had drained out as the clock started ticking. It just happened too fast that we get caught in this everyday race...sometimes we do see the future as our life begins to fit into this routine activities..yeah..i can see the future..i can feel the hands of time taking over our life..but not today!
I smiled as I stared at Navin and for a moment he looked confused..I dared the rain..took off my shoes and ran out and dared the naked sky..let the raindrops kiss my face and caress my body..and there it was .the sense of freedom sweeping into me...ahhh..such a beautiful feeling! Navin stared in disbelief for a second and joined me..he smiled at me and i am sure i saw a glitter in his eyes.. we might have grown up but still we did have some craziness left in us..the urge to enjoy every bit of time together..in the rain..in the sunshine..watching the colors...

hand in hand we walked towards Salsa Cafe'..with shoes in our hand and rain drops lifting our spirits..